all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
