Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
