I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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