I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
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is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
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I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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