yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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