How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize
