Who did Billy Mays play for?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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