I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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