Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
