After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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