i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
