i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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