her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
