ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
