At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
