so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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