I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
