I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
