You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize