How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
