how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
