i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
