shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
