you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
