Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Never let your siblings swipe right.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
