Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
