Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
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Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
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I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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