can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i out mim tonsoeep
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