You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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