I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
either way he was missing a nipple.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
