Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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