he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize