You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
