sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
