after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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