You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
