I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
