You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
