I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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