no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
