you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
