Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
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Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
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There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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