I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
