tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
