You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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