i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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