Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
