he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
