Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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