Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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