i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
