Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
