And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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