Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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