Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
