I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
