i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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