no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
